How many times have you said or heard, “I will never change. I like myself exactly as I am." The willingness to change is essential to love and happiness and without it, we stop growing.
1. Change is always about you, not the other person. When you do it for someone else it never works.
- So often we “change” to please another person not understanding that the change will be short-lived at best.
- The only time change works is if it is really what we want to do.
- It has to come from very deep inside and there needs to be a firm resolve. That resolve is what keeps you going during the hard times and doesn’t allow you to give up.
2. Unless you are willing to change what doesn’t work you will keep getting the same results. All behavior has critical mass and momentum.
- Remember, time does nothing but pass.
- Things that are bad get worse over time, so anyone who says, “Let some time pass and things will get better”, didn’t know what they were talking about.
- The longer you behave in a particular way, the more energy is behind that way of being. Dysfunction stuff becomes automatic as time goes on.
3. Change needs to resonate as true for you.
- You know you need to change regardless of what anyone else says.
- Ask yourself the question: If I was all alone on this universe would my behavior be attractive to ME? Be honest. Are you attractive to your Self?
- If the answer is “No”, then you need to change.
4. Change is an opportunity to grow and stretch and makes you feel good about yourself.
- If you don’t change and grow, what are you doing on this planet?
- If you think it is to keep making more and money, you are mistaken.
- Remember, an authentic life is different than a successful one.
5. You can decide whether you want to be around someone who refuses to make changes.
I had a client tell me that her husband said he would never change and that he liked himself just the way he was (with bad behavior and all). I told her that just like he had the right to decide so did she, and that she could decide whether or not she wanted to be around someone who didn’t want to change.
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