I had an interesting thing happen to me last week. I had a girlfriend and professional colleague tell me I needed to start networking. Now I understand all the pros of networking but it's never been something I particularly cared for. I appear social but really I'm quite reclusive and don't like chatting or small talk. I do well wherever I go so when I tell people this they really don't pay much attention and I feel don't really believe what I'm saying. But I have been known to enter thorough the front door, keep walking, and walk out the back door in one fell swoop.
My friend Eddie says he likes to spend time with one person at a time and when there is more than one person in a room, he likes to be the speaker. I still laugh out loud when I say that, I guess because the truth is very funny!
So, what happened to me last week was about my not listening to my inner gut and doing what I thought I "should" be doing.
I got an email from my friend who invited me to lunch with Alex Sink, candidate for Governor of Florida. She told me these were the kind of women I needed to network with, and this would be good for me. All other networking opportunities have not interested me so I thought I needed to be open to this. We are all looking for new ways to increase business; why not this, I thought. I paid my $100 and wrote the date in my calendar.
But as the days wore on, the Saturday luncheon loomed before me like some dreaded event. I was not the least bit interested. Something was wrong; this was supposed to be fun! I sat with the feelings for several days, uncovering what was really going on. And there it was - ending up where I began - feeling what I had felt from the beginning. I just didn't want to go - nothing about it interested me. Too much moving about for too little interest.
My friend Pat said what so many have said, "You already paid for it, so why not go?" And my answer as always is, "If the money is gone already, why go if you don't want to go?
Ten years ago I walked off a ship ready to depart Tampa harbor. Booking the reservation, I was somewhat skeptical of the cruise line but I paid $3000 for seven days in Jamaica and the Caribbean. When I got on the ship my worst fears were realized - I just didn't like it. My private cabin was small and smelled funny, for many reasons it was not my cup of tea. When I decided to leave, I thought about the money but realized it was already gone. So basically the question was - the money is gone - do you want to spend 7 uncomfortable days on this ship - and the answer was no.
When I walked down the gangplank, a steward said, "No one has ever done this before." But I was happy. It felt good to follow my feelings and leave just like it felt good not to go the luncheon on Saturday. It was worth $100, and yes even $3000, to learn to follow my gut instincts even when they are unpopular or different than others. So what if I don't like to network, so what if I didn't like the ship. Am I brave enough to take my licks and walk away? Just because I paid for something doesn't have to mean any more than I want it to mean.
Comments