Unresolved childhood Issues

Are unresolved childhood issues still running your life? If you’re stuck in the past and don’t know how to move on, it is important to learn how to make peace with the past and live in the present.

1. Most people look like adults but are really children.

• Having a good life and healthy relationships are about “growing up”.
• I learned a long time ago that no one had a great childhood. They were all difficult and at some point we all have to move on.
• As a child, you cannot have adult relationships.

2. Being a victim makes you powerless.

• Taking back your power means you are not waiting or wanting your parents’ approval.
• You need to become your own parent, your own source of approval.
• Every single person who walks on this earth has been hurt by someone or something. That is what being human is about. It is learning how to open to life – to the joys and the sorrows. You can’t have one without having the other.

3. Our issues are always our issues.

• My favorite all time quote is by T.S. Eliot. He says, “It is ending up where you began but knowing the place for the first time.”
• We keep circling around. If you have abandonment issues from your childhood, those stay your issues forever and you get the chance to keep working on them.
• They may never go away but they stop running your life. You may always be aware that they are there, but when you grow up, you are in charge of your life as an adult, not as a child that feels victimized.

4. Feeling is only way to heal.

• You cannot “think” your way through your issues.
• You need to own them and the only way you can do that is by feeling.
• To be brave enough to get out of your head and into your heart is the beginning of a good life.

5.  Your PAST can work for you if you let it.

•  Accepting your past, actually embracing it as part of what makes you YOU, gives you texture.
•   Integrating past experiences and owning them, regardless of how they came about, sets you free.
• Accepting your past as part of the human condition gives you tremendous compassion.   

Comments

[Ari Koinuma]

I think the last point deserves a long post on its own! I witnessed first hand what it means to "feel" an unresolved issue. It was literally winding the clock back and allowing yourself to act and feel like a child. It was powerful but hard to watch. One of these days I'll tell that tale....

ari

[Geri Greene]

I am in a paralyzing situation - nearly homeless - except for the reluctant kindness of a son who has provided me a hotel in which to stay while I figure things out. Soon I will likely turn my car in for keeping it is not a financial option. It is difficult finding work and I'm sure my fears are flavoring verything. Today the thought came to me, "What childhood situation am I getting to look at?" I have good job skills but nothing seems to stand out to employers. It is taking a lot of energy just to show up for interviews where I think I present myself well. My mind talks in circles and of course most of what it says is negative.

I would NEVER have thought I would be in this situation. A part of me says my writing abilities may be useful to speak for the hundreds of thousands of neuveau homeless that the housing industry has created. (My situation did not come from a bad home investment property.)

But beyond that, why would I let myself be so laid low by my own choices and my belief that the Universe will always provide?

[Chandra Alexander]

I am so sorry this is happening but when it is,there is nothing to do but deal with it the best you can. Instead of focusing on why this happened, it is better to concentrate on what you are going to do, going forward. To get yourself out of this situation, the change will take place incrementally, so do not waver from the work you have laid out for yourself. Keep going and you will create something different in time.