Afraid of Being Alone?

Are you staying in a bad relationship because you’re afraid of being alone?  If the prospect of being alone scares you more than the unhealthy relationship you’re already in, learn why the ability to be alone is actually the key ingredient to having a good relationship.

1. Nothing is lonelier than being in an unloving relationship.
   • It is one thing to get lonely when you are by yourself; you look around and no one is there. 
   • It is another thing to lie next to your partner in bed and feel all alone.  Nothing is lonelier than that.
   • Loving relationships have the ability to take down the walls; unloving ones keep them up.

2. To know what makes you feel good, you must spend time alone.
   • There is only one way to know who you are really are; you must spend time alone.
   • Alone time allows us to quiet all those other voices in our head other than our own.  For the first time we are then able to hear our own voice.
   • So much of the time we are busy trying to figure out how to make the other person like us; we need time alone to figure out how we can like ourselves.

3. Things come out when you are alone and that is good.
   • Being alone, eventually the mind begins to quiet down and things that were in darkness come to the light.
   • Self-acceptance comes from a very quiet place.  Being alone allows you to “feel” your way through the darkness.
   • Our frame of reference narrows; we become Self-referring, i.e., we look inside for the answers, rather than outside, to others.

4. Everyone feels lonely at times; this is natural and normal, the human condition.
   • Loneliness is part of the human condition.  It is the existential slice of life that can never be changed; you will always feel lonely at times.
   • You come in alone and you will go out alone – no one’s opinion can change that.
   • Being lonely is different than being alone.  Being alone is a choice that we make because we choose to enjoy our own company.

5. If you can be alone, you have inner strength.
   • You also have self-esteem and self respect.
   • Enjoying your own company sets you free.
   • When you like your own company, you choose from a different place – you are around certain people because you just want to be, and for no other reason than that.

Comments

[James]

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