Do you feel your child is out of control? If so, it is important to understand how out of control children are often the result of parents without boundaries.
- Out of control behavior occurs because we allow it.
- We teach children how to behave by the way we behave. If you lose your temper and become frustrated, that is the behavior you are teaching your child.
- Children intuitively know whether you mean what you say.
- Unless you are willing to be inconvenienced when disciplining your child, you will never be able to go the distance in getting the job done.
- It’s a child’s basic nature to test limits.
- It is a child’s basic nature to say yes and go, when we say no and stop.
- This is what children do. This response is not so much testing you as it is testing for them.
- How far can they go and stretch before someone says stop and means it? They are waiting for someone to say stop.
- Children need boundaries to feel safe and understand the world.
- You need to win. That means you are willing to do whatever it takes to make them feel safe.
- Boundaries create safety; they give children parameters for moving about in this crazy world.
- Out of control children are yearning for boundaries, stopping posts along the way that give direction and grounding.
- Regardless of age, children are smart and instinctively understand family dynamics. Ex. How to pit mother against father.
- The most important aspect of parenting is for one parent to be in sync with the other.
- Children automatically recognize the weak link and if they feel they can get their way by pitting one parent against another that is what they will do.
- This is normal and natural and what all healthy children do.
- Nothing controls behavior better than discipline and love. (You may not like or tolerate your child’s behavior, but you can still love him.)
- If you are out of control, your child will be out of control.
- It is important to distinguish between behavior and essence.
- You can not like your child’s behavior but still love your child – and you need to make sure your child understands that.
Oh my - great post! All of this is spot on! I see so many out of control kids, but unfortunately a lot of parents don't seem to want to do anything about it because it seems too hard - and it is hard work, but the rewards are fantastic!
Posted by: Suzie | August 14, 2009 at 03:03 PM