New Relationship - Same Issues???

Starting a new relationship and afraid of making the same mistakes again? If you don’t learn from past experience – what’s the point? As all of us know, there is no end to the number of times we can keep making the same mistakes. Learn how to stop what doesn't work!!

1. Accept responsibility for EVERY relationship you have ever been in.
   • None of this 50/50 BS. Take 100 percent responsibility and you will take back 100% of your power.
   • I had a moment of enlightenment many years ago when I was getting out of a major relationship. My friends agreed with me that he was so shallow and I was so deep (ah…to have good friends); a real mismatch. But my realization.. was that for the time we were together we were a perfect match. My stuff overlapped his stuff and that as much as I complained about his ability to be intimate, if I could have really done it, (be intimate), I certainly wouldn’t have stayed with someone who couldn’t as long as I did.
   • YOU are the one constant in every relationship you are in.
2. Do not have “overlap relationships”. You need time to process feelings and information.
   • The absolute worse thing you can do when getting out of a relationship, is to quickly get in another.
   • You need time to process; to figure out what went wrong, what was good, what was bad. If you don’t spend this time you will never be able to learn from your mistakes.
   • You also need time to grieve. Even if you are glad to be out, don’t forget, you had hopes and dreams and none of them are going to happen. There’s a certain sadness when dreams don’t come to fruition.
3. Do not rationalize. If it doesn’t feel good, it probably isn’t.
   • Do you pay attention to the red flags or do you just ignore them because you have an agenda (to be in a new relationship) and don’t want to be thrown off course?
   • Remember - What is in darkness is going to come to light eventually.
   • Be brave. Deal with your feelings even though feeling them might scare you. It’s all coming out. It’s just whether it comes sooner or later.
4. Spend time alone. Unless you can be alone, you will never have healthy relationships.
   • Spending time alone, being able to enjoy your own company is the key to all good relationships.
   • Do you like your own company? Are you afraid to be alone?
   • If the answer is yes – that is exactly what you need to do.

Comments

[James]

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