Starting a new relationship and afraid of making the same mistakes again? If you don’t learn from past experience – what’s the point? As all of us know, there is no end to the number of times we can keep making the same mistakes. Learn how to stop what doesn't work!!
- Accept responsibility for EVERY relationship you have ever been in.
- None of this 50/50 BS. Take 100 percent responsibility and you will take back 100% of your power.
- I had a moment of enlightenment many years ago when I was getting out of a major relationship. My friends agreed with me that he was so shallow and I was so deep (ah…to have good friends); a real mismatch. But my realization.. was that for the time we were together we were a perfect match. My stuff overlapped his stuff and that as much as I complained about his ability to be intimate, if I could have really done it, (be intimate), I certainly wouldn’t have stayed with someone who couldn’t as long as I did.
- YOU are the one constant in every relationship you are in.
- Do not have “overlap relationships”. You need time to process feelings and information.
- The absolute worse thing you can do when getting out of a relationship, is to quickly get in another.
- You need time to process; to figure out what went wrong, what was good, what was bad. If you don’t spend this time you will never be able to learn from your mistakes.
- You also need time to grieve. Even if you are glad to be out, don’t forget, you had hopes and dreams and none of them are going to happen. There’s a certain sadness when dreams don’t come to fruition.
- Do not rationalize. If it doesn’t feel good, it probably isn’t.
- Do you pay attention to the red flags or do you just ignore them because you have an agenda (to be in a new relationship) and don’t want to be thrown off course?
- Remember - What is in darkness is going to come to light eventually.
- Be brave. Deal with your feelings even though feeling them might scare you. It’s all coming out. It’s just whether it comes sooner or later.
- Spend time alone. Unless you can be alone, you will never have healthy relationships.
- Spending time alone, being able to enjoy your own company is the key to all good relationships.
- Do you like your own company? Are you afraid to be alone?
- If the answer is yes – that is exactly what you need to do.
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Posted by: James | June 22, 2008 at 10:01 PM