Thinking of Moving In?? Are You Sure?

1.  First, look realistically at the time frame. Has enough time passed for the two of you to really know one  another?

• Oftentimes, our own insecurity makes us jump the gun.
• Commitments build naturally as we get to know one another and getting to know another person takes time.  That does not mean you have your own personal boundaries and timelines. If you feel the relationship is not deepening as time goes on, you have the right to say, “This is not working for me. It seems like the things we want are different. I wish you best but feel it is time to go our own separate ways.”
• In the final analysis, commitment making has nothing to do with “feeling” committed.

2.  If you want a commitment in order to live together, do not live together until you have one.

• Once you live together, backtracking is always difficult.
• If you feel you have been with the other person long enough and the relationship is not deepening, living together is not going to make this happen.
• If you are not 100% sure of this relationship, do NOT live together.

3.  There is nothing more stressful than moving out of the house you are living in (it's not your house), and that is what you will be doing if you move into someone else’s place.

• Even though you can do it, it gets tedious after a while and wears you down.
• How do you feel packing up your stuff and leaving the house you have been calling your home?
• How  any times will you do this until you learn not to?

4.  Never threaten or give an ultimatum. People do not love from a place of fear.

• You may get a commitment if you give an ultimatum but it will never be the commitment you want.
• Real commitments come freely, unsolicited, and with great love.
• Real commitments come without asking.  A client once asked me if I would ever ask for a commitment and I said I would rather jump from the balcony. Asking for commitment is like asking to be loved. You deserve to be loved simply because you are loveable.

5.  Accept the truth whatever it is.

• Either someone wants to be with you or they do not.
• It’s really this simple. And what makes it even simpler is for you not to want to be with anyone who doesn’t want to be with you.
• Accept what is and carry on with dignity and self-respect.