Do you feel stuck in your relationship and can’t figure out what to do next? How do you know if you are stuck?
1. You keep repeating the same story over and over again.
- Are you finally bored with your story?
- Until you are tired of hearing the same old stuff, you can never move on.
- Remember, you can “be right” but not “feel right”.
2. You tell friends and family to get consensus for your point of view.
- Anyone who is not sympathetic to your tale of woe quickly gets deleted from your phone. The more people you can get who agree with you, the more validated and “right” you feel. But the ego is only assuaged for the moment, and you quickly get on the phone to call the next person.
- And a note to friends and family – You are not doing anyone a favor listening continuously to the drama.
- The more a person repeats his tale of woe, the more hard-wired it becomes.
3. You start every sentence with "Yes, but...." every time you get a suggestion to improve your situation.
- I have a friend I call the “yes, but girl”. No matter what suggestion she is given, her respond is always “yes, but”.
- What that means to me is that she has no intention of changing – she simply makes excuses and wants to be right.
- Being stuck is about being repetitious. Honestly listen to yourself.
4. You recognize the same patterns even though the names and faces are different.
- OK. Here’s the deal. The names and places are different but he’s the same guy.
- Be honest with yourself. Are the patterns the same from one relationship to the next? Do you keep attracting “commitment phobic” guys?
- If you do, you need to look at yourself and make the adjustment there.
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