What we learn:
A Relationship is a mirror - Why all of us resonate to the word “relationship” is that there is no better way to know your Self than through relationship. When we are with another person, the other person becomes our mirror – we see our reflection. The things we like become reflected back to us and the things we don’t like come reflected back as well.
Not to look at the other person - The main reason relationships are so troublesome is because we forget what is really going on. When we are feeling unhappy in a relationship, we rarely accept responsibility for that unhappiness but rather project our feelings onto our partner, our boss, our parent, our friend. When we are unhappy, we think it is the fault of the other person. If only he would change, if only she would be different…then my life would be better. But someone else changing is just that – it has nothing to do with you and the choices you make.
To stop being a victim - Only when you are able to stop being a victim, re-claim your power and be brave enough to create the life you want, then finally, you have relationships that work. You have legs for walking toward and legs for walking away. Use them.
The journey of Self – discovery - So…you start one place and end up another. T.S. Eliot said, "It's ending up where you began but knowing the place for the first time." Each relationship gives you an opportunity to see your Self, to stop repeating self-sabotaging patterns, and refine the journey to Self-discovery. This is the human experience and we are all in this together. Through reaching out and trying to connect with another, we end up connecting with our Self, and find our way back home.
"The Kosher Sutra" was featured on Dr. Phil today by the writing Rabbi family specialist. His words were so direct on the side of women who really need to be honored for their sensuality - when in fact, they should be courted and tended to. He suggested that if women don't get the attention they are hungering for, someone else's simple notice of how their hair is done or how they are dressed can mean more to them than it would if the attention at home was plentiful.
I don't doubt the same holds true for men, but the show caters to women and the flavor of the information gave me a lot of insight into a question that has long long bothered me - an enviable yet plastic marriage that left me very hungry for touch and attention.
That plus your straight talk is vital in this world that spins on confusion.
Posted by: Geri | March 03, 2009 at 09:07 PM