Are You Addicted and Don't Know It?

When we think of addictions, we often think of drugs and alcohol.  But addictions come in many forms. If you are sexually promiscuous, abuse prescription drugs, gamble, constantly view pornography, or shop excessively; you most likely have an addiction problem.

1. Addictions come in many forms.
   • Do you have indiscriminate sex or constantly view pornography?
   • What about shopping? Do you buy things you don’t need, spend more than you can afford, and feel “special” when purchasing? Does shopping give meaning to a life that feels “meaningless?”
   • Do you spend hours on-line playing poker? Do you leave work early to play or get up when everyone has gone to sleep to play more?

2. All addictions serve to anesthetize you and are about not feeling.
   • Initially you get a high from an addiction, but that does not last for long.
   • Addictions zone you out; they keep you from feeling and in essence flat-line you.
   • The problem with addictions – you need more and more of the addiction to get the same result. More sex to feel zoned, more shopping to get rid of the feelings of loneliness, and bigger bets to blot out the feelings on inadequacy. It never ends and sends you in a downward spiral.

3. Without commitment and discipline, you cannot break an addiction.
   • Breaking an addiction is an attitude change, first and foremost. You must make that commitment to yourself.
   • Discipline means doing things you are not used to doing. It means doing things that are out of the ordinary, things that initially do not feel natural to do.
   • Without making a plan, and setting up a support system, you cannot break and addiction.

4. You must be willing to bear “the anxiety” in order to break an addiction.
   • Breaking an addiction means you are leaving one way of life and entering into another.
   • Entering the unknown always produces a sense of anxiety, a feeling of being out of control. This is normal and natural for us all.
   • As you feed your addiction less and less, your feelings will begin to rise to the surface. You are not used to feeling so these feelings will make you uncomfortable. You need to bear this, as it will pass and you will feel more whole in the process.

5. You cannot think your way out of an addiction - you must feel!
   • Feeling is the key to healing.
   • Thinking always keeps you one step away from the action.
   • Eventually you get “addicted” to feeling your life, the same way you were addicted to gambling and shopping.

Comments

[Bruno LoGreco]

Feeling is the key to healing, not just for addictions but for many of the emotions people suppress for fear of judgment.

[Lloyd Davis]

You can not cure or change an alcoholic or drug addiction by doing all this self help business. It sounds good but is futile.

A real drug addict or alcoholic will try to clean up, want deperately to clean up and it is when their will fails to do that and they relapse that thy're able to get into an AA or NA 12 step program. That is only the beginning of a long process filled with some slips. But it starts with the reality that their will can not do it. They are powerless over alcoholism or drug addiction.

[James]

I fundamentally disagree, Lloyd. What about all the people who've fought long, hard battles to break their addictions? They're living proof.

It's tough, but if it was created by acting on cravings, it can be undone by not acting on cravings.

And I think that the reason Chandra says "you must feel!" is because feeling is the perfect balance between suppressing or acting on cravings- both of which are unhealthy and create division, create suffering. Feeling strengthens the nervous system. It's the only way.

[Lloyd]

They don't fight any longer. They give up the battle. They give up their will which is where their disease resides to a higher power. Feel it? Addicted people feel too much. They are overwhelmed with guilt and shame. They feel it all.
Read the 12 steps. You have no idea what you're talking about. It's self-help babble. I deal with people who's families have suffered because of addictions. Some of their love ones have died from overdoses and suicide or keep bouncing out of rehabs.
The alcoholic/addict will try everything -manipulation,lieing,stealing,denial to stay active until they hit their bottom. Detox and Rehab. And AA which is a life time program. Addiction is never cured. It is a chronic disese whose goal is to kill the addict/alcoholic or drive them crazy. You can't cure it. Recovery is a process not a destination. Many will relapse but will get back in the program. One buck in a basket. Get real. You could harm someone with this -fight the good fight, just don't do it. It's pointless. It is when the alcoholic/addict realizes they can't do it. That they can begin their recovery. Start the work to be done. Their will is bankrupt. Alcoholics/Addicts become active in a spiritual program - AA which fills them with what they need. And until then they will try to work their own program which is what their disese likes them to do and refuse treatment and continue their addiction.