Chandra Unplugged - No nonsense, Straight-up blogging from a Life Coach

How to Internet Date

Do you want to increase your relationship possibilities but does Internet dating make you nervous?

Five Things You Need To Know About Internet Dating:

1. It’s no better or worse than any other kind of dating.  How discriminating you are determines how successful your experience will be.
   • There is no substitute for discrimination.  Do you know when someone has good character and will you stay away from someone who has bad character?

2. Be honest – represent yourself as you truly are (not what you looked like 10 years ago!)
   • A client told me she was having bad experiences on-line dating. She told me the telephone conversations were great, but the meetings weren’t.  I asked to see a copy of her on-line profile and I knew why she was having a problem.  The girl in the picture didn’t look like the one sitting in front of me.
   • When you portray yourself to be something other than what you are, that is a form of betrayal.

3. Meet for coffee first – you do not want to have to bolt your dessert.
   • Aren’t your tired of not having desert?  Have a glass of wine.  It’s a short interaction that doesn’t take too much time in a place you can easily leave from. 

4. Ask questions – Do not be afraid to ask what makes you feel comfortable.
   • Someone who is interested in getting to know you for real will be willing to tell you anything that will make you feel more comfortable.  Someone who has nothing to hide has nothing to hide.

5. Trust your instincts.  Don’t ignore your feelings; oftentimes we get the best information that way.
   • Instincts bypass the intellect – thank God.  We sure don’t want the mind interfering. Instincts are clean; they are our inner voice and we need to listen to them. 

How to be your Authentic Self in a Relationship

1. Ask yourself, “What do I really like?  What interests me?”  Sit quietly and listen to the answer.

2. Be willing to speak up and share your dreams and desires.  Speak from the heart.

3. Support and encourage one another’s gifts and talents.  When we support another’s Authentic Self, we support our own.

4. Feel okay about having different likes and dislikes.  Differences allow for authenticity.

5. Take risks – You can’t know who you are just by thinking about it.