Chandra Unplugged - No nonsense, Straight-up blogging from a Life Coach

The Artist's Way - and We Are All Artists

                                   The Artist's Way (and We Are All Artists)


How is consciousness expanded? How do we become something more tomorrow than we are today? How do we tap into feelings, thoughts, inspirations, and dreams that previously were unavailable to us?

Every once in a while a book comes along that quietly points the way to a new understanding, opens a door that was previously closed. The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron is such a book. (check it out) This is not a “how to” book, but a book about being, about trusting your inner voice. It is not about being a painter or a sculptor, but about finding the artist inside, that is, connecting with that energy that is pure creativity. When we learn how to listen to our own voice, the process of becoming our own person begins and we move toward the things we love to do and that make us feel whole.

No matter what your age or life path -- whether you are thinking career, hobby or dream -- it is never too late, or too selfish, or too egotistical to work on your creativity. Each one of us is like a DNA print -- unique -- and when we are doing what we are meant to do we are in the “flow” and our life has meaning.

Being in the flow is effortless. It’s when we forget time. Sometimes in sports, often in sex -- there is a sense of timelessness. We are totally at one with what we are doing, completely at ease in the moment. This is when true creativity comes. It just flows. It is the opposite of effort. Effort is self-conscious, manipulative, forcing our will. When we are in touch with our creativity, things just work.

In “The Artist’s Way," Cameron talks about a spiritual path to higher creativity, the creative discovery and recovery process. Sometimes she uses the word God. What she is talking about here is creative energy -- Mind, Universe, Higher Power, Infinite Source -- it does not matter what we call it. What does matter is that we acknowledge that a form of spiritual energy exists. We may not know how electricity works but we use it. We know it’s out there and available to us -- that’s all we need to know.

Now if this power, this source of creative energy, is available to us all, why aren’t we all functioning at the height of our creativity and doing what we love?
(to be continued)

How Do You Know You Are Stuck?

1. You keep repeating the same story over and over.

• Telling your story again and again is an addiction.  It is what we do when we think we are our story.  You are not your story.  Your story is simply the costume you wear and you believe the disguise to be real.

2.  You tell friends and family to get consensus for your point of view.

• You only tell your story to the people you know will agree with you.  We want validation for how we see the world and slowly delete all who disagree with us or point out that we might need to change.

3. You start every sentence with "Yes, but...." every time you get a suggestion to improve your situation.

• You are the quintessential "Yes,but" person.  Many good suggestions come to us but we always find a reason why they are not right for us; for that reason, we never change.

4. You recognize the same patterns even though the names and faces are different.

• You go from one relationship to another, without a break in-between to figure out what went wrong, what needs to be changed.  New people come around with different names, but if we're honest with ourselves, it's really the same person. 

How Do I Know If This Is The Therapist For Me?

From the moment you meet your therapist or Life Coach, you should feel a connection.  If your therapist cannot connect to you on the FIRST visit, you need to leave and never come back.  I am not talking about feeling happy, I am talking about a connection.  What that means is that you have a feeling inside you that says, "I feel like this person can help me or there is something about this person I trust".  You will know immediately; you will be able to "feel" it.  This is NOT an intellectual process, i.e., not something that lends itself well to a check list.  How many time times have you gotten everything on the list and still have not gotten the prize? Feel what the prize feels like.

On your first session, the therapist/Life Coach should "get" who you are.  Without knowing every single detail, the therapist should give you feedback to let you know that you are understood and that "help is on the way". A therapist can't fake this stuff.  Either we know what's going on, or we don't.  When the therapist feels confident, the client feels confident as well.   

When clients meet the right Life Coach/Therapist they know because they immediately become motivated to become something  more.  They know they need to change and now feel they may have found a way to do it.  That does not mean that there is not hard work ahead, but rather that the work is worth it.

Psychotherapy - Does It Work?

Does Psychotherapy work?  If by psychotherapy we mean pure talk therapy - the answer is no!!!  There is nothing worse than constantly repeating your story and not having anyone stop you.  How often do you hear of someone being in therapy for five years and still having a messed-up life? 

Not only does it not work, but it actually does harm.  The more we repeat our dysfunctional story, the more hard-wired it becomes.  Therapists who sit back, say nothing, and let us just keep yapping on as they collect our money, do us a grave disservice.  We need to be stopped; we need the story to end and we are hoping someone will stop us.  That is why we are paying a professional - we want to be stopped.

Freud was right about some things.  He said the basis of our existence was love and work.  He was right about that.  But psychotherapy - he was wrong about that.  The client needs a dialogue with the therapist and sometimes a monologue from the therapist.  The same way parents teach children by modeling, that is the way the therapist needs to teach the client.  As parents, would we ever just let our child keep making the same mistake again and again without stepping in? 

Clients come to therapists because they are hoping we know something they don't.  If we don't speak up, who will?

The Student/Teacher Relationship (continued)

Lastly, if you want your students to connect with you, you need to take the time to connect with them.

The connection that you make with your students is what will create your learning environment.  I encourage you to take the time to connect to each and every one of your students. Sometimes it takes only three minutes to make that connection, but once you do, you have a friend for life. 

Your classroom will be a cross section of the easiest to the most difficult.  If I am honest, sometimes I get a client I don’t like that much.  I actually use this client as a barometer for what I need to work on.  I know my job is to teach and unless I can connect, to each and every one, I cannot do my work.  

The student-teacher connection gives you feedback and it nourishes your soul. When we have a student who “gets it” something inside us comes alive, we get energized.  When we know we have made a connection, something inside of us feels complete.

Thank you all for giving me this opportunity to share my thoughts.  I wish you great success on this your first day of school!