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« Psychotherapy - Does It Work? | Main | How Do You Know You Are Stuck? »

November 06, 2007


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OH Now HERE is a story -- I've had three good counselors in my life and some unreal ones . First one I'll name "Ice Queen." She had a rock the size of Montana on her left hand, was impeccably dressed, and acted like she was in the same room with me. At the end of our initial meeting, which included some heart-wrenching stories and a ton of tears and shaking. She wound up our session by flatly stating, "Well, I'd say you have some issues to address. I am going out of town for two months and when I am back, we can do some work."

Another one or two said, "I can't believe someone as attractive as you, has any problems." That from 'cuter' days.

Another turned around my story of being molested by a minister's husband during a massage, into, "On some level we are all sexual creatures. Are you SURE you didn't want his advances?" And despite my declarations, he kept turning it on me. This same psychiatrist ran and organized a weekend retreat to address family dysfunctions. I finally had to realize the masseusse was a buddy of his. And they both feared I would bring down the church if I stepped forward on my hind legs and spoke.

I've had wonderful counsel from women who had surmounted their own lives, not just studied. Each was a step in my evolutionary processes back from the edges of insanity . And when each connection expired, I felt a combination of elation and loss at our time together.

And I also learned that becoming good friends with a therapist who has so many parallels in common is not always the best experience for growth, even if it is a gentle place to rest for a time.

Thank you for speaking to the other side of this from the therapist's view.


Geri: Thank you for sharing these insights - I am sure they did not come easily, but in the end, led you back home to your Self. A therapist is only as good as he/she is a person. We can only give who we are , no more, no less. Unless we have done the work, we are truly clueless and each and every client instinctually knows whether we are authentic or not. It sounds like you have done the work and I congratulate you for that.


I, too, had an experience with a counselor recommended by a friend. Within 15 minutes of our beginning, she apparently had read my personal information and asked, "Is the Jones son (my neighbor) still gay?"

I had a mother who lived by the "If you can't say something nice......." rule and I still trip over telling people when they are out of line, but I'm getting better. I have also learned that at times my own best advice is from the quiet within.

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