What Interests Me

I admit it.  It's hard to hold my interest.  It's not that I don't want to be interested, I do, it's just not that easy to capture my attention.  That does not mean that I am not present, I am - all it means is that I am very clear about what resonates as true for me and if it doesn't, I'm simply not interested. 

If truth be told I am dying to be interested.  One of the reasons I don't go to many social functions is that I can't bear to listen to the chatter.  I always go with the hope that somehow someone will engage me with their presence and authenticity and I will enjoy myself, but more times than not, I am quickly looking for the back door for a quick escape.  I don't need much - just someone, anyone, who is paying attention, present, conscious.

Don't get the wrong idea.  There aren't specific subjects that interest me and those are the only things I want to talk about; far from it.  When someone interests me, I am interested in everything they have to say!

So...what am I talking about here?  There is a state of being that is always interesting.  It is the opposite of being self-absorbed, the opposite of having an agenda; it is the ability to be present, to want to feel right rather than be right, and the desire to truly connect.  It involves listening and paying attention and the moment that it happens, you can feel it.

Connections are what interest me.  And as far as subjects are concerned there are million of them and more to come.  I always find it amazing how uninteresting a great subject can be in the hands of a self-absorbed, unconscious person.  And I always get a kick out of myself - how little I care about proving my point when when I am heard and when I get a glimpse of who someone really is.

One of the things that happens when I feel someone is listening to me is that I start to like that person and look forward to another conversation.  I find myself thinking about that person, remembering the feeling, and wanting to talk again. I end up really not caring whether they agree with me or not - all I care about is the connection; that I feel closer at the end of the conversation than at the beginning. 

Being connected to how I feel and feeling good - that's what interests me.

 

Comments

[karen karstadt]

Chandra, I just wrote to Bonnie and told her that these are my sentiments exactly! I would rather keep company with 'moi' more often than not, than spent time superfluously, feigning interest where there is none. Don't get me wrong, I am not a snob. I want my interest piqued!

[James]

I really like this post.