Is your relationship unbearably stressful? If you are tip-toeing around your partner, always censuring yourself and afraid to speak out, you have a communication nightmare. There is trouble in this relationship.
Thinking about everything before you say it is torture. This is a form of self-abuse. Just talk - it's going to come out anyway! Be conscious of the pressure and resentment that builds from stuffing your feelings and give yourself permission to speak. Remember healthy relationships are about being the most that you can be; cranking it up, not toning it down.
If you're always trying to figure out the other person's mood to see when the best time to talk is, you need to stop doing that. When is the best time to talk? The best time is always now. There is no time like the present. When you manipulate your behavior to coincide with someone else's mood, you always suffer. Basing what you say and what you don't say on another person automatically denies you the right to be yourself. Your job is to be truthful and open and honest - not to figure out the "best" time to talk to another person.
When you feel angry and resentful a lot of the time you are denying your Self. Anger is really sadness turned upside down; when you feel your sadness you are no longer angry. Not speaking what you are feeling produces anger (which is really sadness.) If you cannot be real, you have nothing.
Be brave. Decide right now that you are going to stop dancing around and step up. Love yourself enough to take a chance on you. Ask yourself: Are your intentions good? Do you have the other's best interest at heart? Do you want the same good things for your partner that you want for yourself? If you can honestly answer yes to all these questions, than open up your mouth and speak and be yourself. You deserve it!!
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