Intimacy is not what you have; it is what you do. You cannot have intimacy unless you are that. All the ways that we are able to openly connect to one another, we need to put these ways into action; we need to make them part of what we do on a daily basis.
Talking about intimacy is a waste of time. If you are always complaining that you do not have intimacy in your relationship, ask yourself how long have you had this complaint. Although at one time I confess to complaining, I now would no longer stay in a relationship where I did not feel connected. I would take responsibility for the lack of intimacy in the relationship and I would either make it happen, or leave the relationship. Addressing the problem is different than constantly talking about it. If you have stayed where there is no real connection, you are the source - look no further.
If you stay where there is no intimacy, it is because you are unable to be intimate. Often we look at the other person, project our feelings of "unlovability", and expect someone else to give us what we lack.
Being intimate is the same as being open. Openness is my favorite word ever and is the opposite of having a closed heart. Openness is the willingness to stay awake even when it is a whole lot easier to check out and close down. It is the willingness to dig deep and get brave even though you are scared. It is holding the other person's heart in your hands with as much care and love as you hold your own. It is wanting the same good things your partner that you want for yourself, and showint that in all you do.
Intimacy is an action verb, what we do as we breath; the choices we make moment by moment.
I wish you all loving, intimate relationships.
Comments