From the moment you meet your therapist or Life Coach, you should feel a connection. If your therapist cannot connect to you on the FIRST visit, you need to leave and never come back. I am not talking about feeling happy, I am talking about a connection. What that means is that you have a feeling inside you that says, "I feel like this person can help me or there is something about this person I trust". You will know immediately; you will be able to "feel" it. This is NOT an intellectual process, i.e., not something that lends itself well to a check list. How many time times have you gotten everything on the list and still have not gotten the prize? Feel what the prize feels like.
On your first session, the therapist/Life Coach should "get" who you are. Without knowing every single detail, the therapist should give you feedback to let you know that you are understood and that "help is on the way". A therapist can't fake this stuff. Either we know what's going on, or we don't. When the therapist feels confident, the client feels confident as well.
When clients meet the right Life Coach/Therapist they know because they immediately become motivated to become something more. They know they need to change and now feel they may have found a way to do it. That does not mean that there is not hard work ahead, but rather that the work is worth it.
Two important things need to happen simultaneously: A therapist needs to work from the inside out and outside in. From the "inside out" means that it is important to understand "why" we do certain things and to have insights and ephanies. From the "outside in" means that we need to take those insights and ephanies and bring them into action in the world. What is the good of insights if we can't make them work for us? We might as well be sitting on the couch smoking weed and having an insight!
In Behavioral Therapy, behavior is changed whether or not the client understands the underpinnings of that behavior. In Psychotherapy, clients talk, have insights, but are never required to make those insights into real life, into reality.
Therapists who know what they are doing require both insight and action., i.e., both psychotherapy and behavioral therapy. A good therapist leads a client to insights and inspirations but holds them accountable for bringing those realizations into action in the real world. A sharp therapist understands that only by manifesting these changes on the physical plane can a client begin to change the hard-wiring, and thus finally move in a new direction.