Are you confused about whether to leave or stay and feel you need a commitment in order to make up your mind? Learn why it is a mistake to ask for a commitment and why an ultimatum always backfires and should never be an option. What do we do when we want a commitment and the other person doesn’t? How do we know whether to leave or stay and when is enough time enough?
1. Asking for commitment, you instantly loose your dignity and self-esteem.
- Have I ever done this? The answer is yes; that’s why I know how demeaning it is.
- Commitments come naturally, out of organic, free-flowing connections.
- When you look at the other person and cannot imagine being with anyone else, that is a real commitment.
2. Asking for a commitment is the opposite of love.
- Love occurs ONLY in the moment.
- Asking for a commitment is like trying to tie up the future – you can’t do it, no matter how hard you try.
- Why not just relax into the moment, stop trying to control things, and see what happens naturally?
3. You cannot make someone want you or love you.
- No matter how hard you press for a commitment, that is not the same as love.
- People love because they want to love and because loving feels good.
- You may be able to talk someone into a commitment, but not into loving you.
4. Ultimatums always have unpleasant backlashes.
- This is the probably the worst thing you can do.
- Why give an ultimatum? What’s the point? OK. You might be able to scare someone into “committing” but what a hollow commitment that is.
- Be careful what you manipulate; you just might get the physical body in front of you, but you will not get the soul.
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