Is your child out of control? If so, it is important to understand how out of control children are often the result of parents without boundaries.
- Out of control behavior occurs because we allow it.
· We teach children how to behave by the way we behave. If you are not willing to stop bad behavior, it will continue.
· Children intuitively know whether you mean what you say.
- It’s a child’s basic nature to test limits.
· It is a child’s basic nature to say yes when we say no. This response is not so much testing you as it is testing them. How far can they go before someone says stop and means it? They are waiting for someone to say stop.
- Children need boundaries to feel safe and understand the world.
· Boundaries create safety; they give children parameters for moving about in this crazy world. Out of control children are yearning for boundaries, stopping posts along the way that give direction and grounding.
- Regardless of age, children are smart and instinctively understand family dynamics. Ex. How to pit mother against father.
· The most important aspect of parenting is to be in sync with one another. Children automatically recognize the weak link and if they feel they can get their way by pitting one parent against another that is what they will do. This is normal and natural and what all healthy children do.
- Nothing controls behavior better than discipline and love. (You may not like or tolerate your child’s behavior, but you still love him.)
· It is important to distinguish between behavior and essence. You can not like your child’s behavior but still love your child – and you need to make sure your child understands that.
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