1. You keep repeating the same story over and over.
- Telling your story again and again is an addiction. It is what we do when we think we are our story. You are not your story. Your story is simply the costume you wear and you believe the disguise to be real.
2. You tell friends and family to get consensus for your point of view.
- You only tell your story to the people you know will agree with you. We want validation for how we see the world and slowly delete all who disagree with us or point out that we might need to change.
3. You start every sentence with "Yes, but...." every time you get a suggestion to improve your situation.
- You are the quintessential "Yes,but" person. Many good suggestions come to us but we always find a reason why they are not right for us; for that reason, we never change.
4. You recognize the same patterns even though the names and faces are different.
- You go from one relationship to another, without a break in-between to figure out what went wrong, what needs to be changed. New people come around with different names, but if we're honest with ourselves, it's really the same person.